After contemplating leaving the United States after two decades, an undocumented immigrant prepares to say goodbye to cherished friends and home while seeking hope for the future.
Names have been changed to protect individuals from potential legal consequences and ensure their safety. Throughout the piece, the participant will be referred to as "Juan". While these protective measures have been taken, the core truths of their experiences remain intact. Thank you.
Immigrating to the United States has never been a “one-size-fits-all” ordeal, meaning everyone’s crossing story and reasoning are not the same as the next immigrant.
Being an immigrant who migrated to the United States will always have its setbacks, even when disregarding the state of the nation, but as of 2025, when the new president was sworn into office, the detained population has approached 50,000 by April 2025, with plans to double that number in the coming years, according to the National Immagration Forum, and now, in recent light, even US citizens have been detained due to being victims of racial profiling. People of Hispanic descent have become frightened of what the future holds for them.
An apartment in Bowling Green, Ky. held memories in every corner, but now, looking around at the space Juan has called home, it would soon exist only in his memory. After more than twenty years in the United States, Juan prepares for a journey back to a country that was both familiar and foreign to him—Nezahualcoyótl, Mexico City. Not by choice, but by necessity.
The date of his departure remains uncertain, contingent on his mother's health improving. As he doesn't want to leave his parents alone, a testament to the family bonds that immigration policies could complicate, but never sever.
It's tiring, depressing... but still necessary
– Juan
– Juan
After his mother mentioned to his father about three separate robberies, involving his baby sister being held at gunpoint, a knife pressed against Juan's back, and lastly, an unknown object threatening Juan's life once again, it was enough incentive to move his family.
With no preparation and no knowledge, in less than 48 hours, they were boarding a bus to go to the frontier. Stopping at a hotel, his parents stepped out, to come back moments later, ordering 16-year-old Juan to grab only the "important things."
I packed a backpack with clothes and stuff, but I had to leave all that behind...I didn't know if we were going to eat.
– JuanStating that processing his emotions and the reality that he is now here, with no possible way of going back to his life. Biting his tongue, not to seem ungrateful at the moment, recognizing that his parents were just trying to do what was best for him.
Upon arriving in the States, Juan and his family spent days in a limited space, cramped up due to staying with his brother at his apartment, until their father got hold of an apartment for them.
Meanwhile, Juan wasn't wasting time either, since he didn't go to school right away, he set a goal for himself. He enrolled in an ESL class offered three times a week at the community college in Bowling Green, listening to music, watching movies with subtitles, all in English, fully immersing himself in the culture.
I have to be fully aware of not calling any attention to myself or limiting my driving...Not being able to speak my mind or stand my ground.
– JuanBut distancing yourself can only let you go so far; soon enough, he was faced with wanting to work, wanting a vehicle, and a place to live.
These are just a few hurdles immigrants face, due to status, it's not impossible, but it's not the easiest. Juan was lucky to have his father helping and guiding him to achieve and buy these wants.
In the present day, immigration policy is at a high ongoing debate under the Trump Administration, as they used the Alien Enemies Act, threatened possible deportation toward green-card holders, as well as challenged the 14th Amendment.
– Juan
When discussing the impending separation from these friends, emotion crept into Juan's voice, his friends had become his American family over the years. José, whom he met in his early twenties over a shared love of anime; Tanner from his automotive program days; Tyler from the furniture store who shared his passion for Godzilla and good beer; Danny in Louisville; and Antonio, whom he'd known for almost twenty years. Each friendship had its own story, its significance in Juan's American chapter.
He describes his friends as an extraordinary circle of individuals. Pointing out that every friend contributes their unique qualities to their group. Offering unwavering support, and what truly makes these friendships special is that each person has their distinct ambitions and personal projects, allowing themselves to lift each other up, encourage, and stand by one another through challenges. The foundation of their connection is built on deep mutual understanding and emotional intelligence.
– Juan
– Juan
One of the hardest parts was preparing to part with possessions accumulated over decades, each item carrying memories and representing his journey, but some things were non-negotiable. His cats—Ophelia, who he'd had for 5-6 years, and a newer addition, Cecilia, who'd only been with him for a year—would eventually join him in Mexico.
– Juan
As I grow older, to have any sort of retirement, long-lasting plans where I can have a job and I can provide for myself and buy a house or buy some land... it seems more difficult to do so here due to the policies and laws that are changing here.
– Juan
Reaching a point in life, after nearly two decades, Juan has made a call for himself.
Debunking one piece of misinformation that gets spread about illegal immigrants, "I don't get any help."
Contributing to his community, getting an education, paying taxes, but can't claim Social Security in the future, or any other benefits, can't buy a house, and can't be a real person due to his status.
Building a life here and creating a haven for himself, he questions how he can legally say that all of his property is his. Everything he has built can be taken away in an instant.
"It just feels so hard nowadays to even voice that out, because it feels like we're demanding something, but we're not. We're here for a reason...We're not criminals. We're not bad people. Most of us are just here to work and provide for our families. And if you talk to us, we'll tell you so."
So that made me come to the conclusion that if it is becoming that difficult. Why would I stay here? What's the point of continuing to fight a battle? So I'm more than likely going to move back and start a life back where I come from."
– JuanDespite the circumstances forcing his return, Juan maintains hope for new opportunities in Mexico—perhaps buying a house, changing careers, starting a business, or finally traveling as he'd always wanted to.
As Juan prepared for this involuntary homecoming, his story stood as a testament to the complex human realities behind immigration statistics—a life built, friendships formed, and a reluctant journey back to begin again.
It sucks to leave your life behind in life that you worked so hard to build... It's a very unsettling feeling that you're not being seen as a human being. You're being seen as a trend. You're being seen as a problem.
– Juan